he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
