dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
