Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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