Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
