then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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