Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Operation Purity has been aborted
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
