literally had 100 drinks last night.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
