Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
