My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
