and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
