Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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