My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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