Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
