did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
