I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
