Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
