I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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