remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
