Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
