It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
