member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
