would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
