I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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