He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
