where am i from again
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
