My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize