I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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