if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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