i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she smelled like a LAN party
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
