I showed him my bush... on skype.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
