i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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