Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
