So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We just shotgunned beers for America
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
