You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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