Swine flu. Run for my life!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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