Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
