Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
