There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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