I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize