so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
