He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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