I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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