so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
