I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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