Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
