I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Randomize