I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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