hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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