it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
