their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
