and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
