I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
