Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
nutella sex= disaster
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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