I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
