What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
