question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
