Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize