I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
