I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
