Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
